The familiarity concept

The familiarity concept

What is the name of that law that states that you become whatever you’re familiar with? If can’t be karma, what then can we call it?

Let me tell you quickly a personal story to buttress my point:

Being a student who after a whole lot of starving, using garri for varieties and other student food, now going home knowing the kind of delicacy you’d eat, can be a great joy to students- especially someone like me who is a foodie. But then, there’s this challenge that always accompany my going home, it’s about how my mom complain about everything I do (I don’t tidy the house, I wake up late, I don’t help her, I’m eating all her food, I’m always on my phone etc) and most times I try to correct this, but she seems not to get satisfied, not for once. Over time I get frustrated and in no time, I’ll be tired of home- wanting to get back to school.

Now, getting back to school, I realized that I always do the same thing I disliked my mom doing to me. My roommate happens to be my cousin and this time in school, I’m always behaving like my mom- i tidy the room (what I normally don’t do at home) and I’ll always complain if my cousin scatters it again. Like I do exactly things my mom does to me that I don’t like.

Now, that’s my own story. I know many of us have that kind of story of things that we tend to do, what we said we aren’t going to do (or what we dislike people doing to us).

You hated how your dad beat your mom; you don't like how someone close to you is addicted to something; you are always sad about how poor your parents are, you can go on to name it- but in the long run, you find yourself doing the same thing you didn’t like. What could have caused that?

Shouldn’t your hatred towards that thing be enough for you not to do it? Or is it that you are destined to do it? Or are you thinking it’s a generational curse?

Let me call it “THE LAW OF FAMILIARITY”

Many of us don't know that, while we are used to seeing (or saying) something, it’s getting a permanent stay in our subconscious and what the subconscious do is to automatically give an output (a response) to an input (or similar to the input) that has been stored in it- it’s programmed.

Sometimes, you don’t know when you hiss, you just can't control what happened. Yes! It’s because of what has been stored in your subconscious.

 How then can we uninstall (unlearn) this sabotaging reality?

Consciously, intentionally, attentively start to reprogram this law. How? Whenever you want to start doing it, or you are already doing it, retrace your step or reach out to someone (someone that knows about it and is always ready to help) immediately. You won’t stop immediately and so you must be consistent until you can now stay free of it- when it has been deleted and replaced at the subconscious level.

Will you rather reprogram or let it continue to sabotage you?

Do you need more explanation on this: or you want help on any sabotaging belief or you want us to go through any with you? ask us anything on WhatsApp on 09051911988

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COFFEE EYES

COFFEE EYES

It was on the day I wrote my final papers that I met Obinna. I was rushing to leave the exam hall in order to avoid the water and zobo baptism that will initiate my coursemates and I into the next stage as graduates and although I was excited to finally conclude my studies, I was in no mood to return to my hostel dirty, soaked through and leaking liquid from every pore in my skin. A few drinks with my friends in a quiet bar was my idea of celebrating and I would have gotten away with my plan but for a guy who splashed zobo, not even water, on my face, the minute I stepped out of the hall.

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. By the way I froze there, mouth gaping and bleeding zobo, I was sure that I looked like fish flung out of a red sea. I had chosen to take the hall's side door to avoid an attack but my effort had been rendered useless. I was so carried away with my escape that I did not notice him creep up behind me.

When I had wiped enough zobo from face to enable me see clearly, I beheld a total stranger laughing at me. He was quite tall, light skinned with eyes the colour of coffee. I wanted to be angry at him, to shout insults, anything to express the way I felt towards him for thwarting my perfect plan after I had bragged to my friends that I would return to the hostel dry and unstained but I couldnt.. It was his eyes. The way they twinkled with mischief and excitment held me spellbound. He glanced behind him and I looked as well and saw more students coming towards us, carrying missles. He smiled when he saw my eyes widen in alarm told me to run. I ran, hoping no one would chase me for long and they didnt.

What a guy I thought to myself as I slowed down to walk as calmly as I could past the security guards parading the front gate of my school. If he had commanded me to fly even though I had no idea how to acomplish that, by God, I would try. I found myself thinking about him for the rest of the day. That was until my best friend Paul, called and asked me to join the gang at the Ochez bar, two streets away from my hostel.

On arriving at the bar, I hailed paul appeared to be waiting for me at the entrance and we entered the bar together. He steered me towards the exclusive area where we had contributed money to rent for the two hours that we would celebrate there. Everyone of my friends were there and a few more people. One of which I discovered to be my assailant. While Paul took the seat next to his girlfriend, I had to sit next to Mr.Coffee eyes because there were no other seats available.

After I had placed an order for a bottle of Smirnoff Ice and had recieved my drink, uncapped with a straw in it, when Mr.Coffee turned those eyes of his on me and I began to choke on my drink. He quickly pulled me towards him and hit my back lightly till I was breathing properly.
''Are you alright?'', he asked. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak coherently. He still had his left hand on my shoulder and had apprently forgotten it was there. ''You are the girl I poured zobo on earlier today abi?'' I felt my blood beginining to boil. Indignation got the better of me.
''Poured? Seriously? It felt like you slapped me with zobo!''. He started laughing at me all over again.
''Sorry. It is a normal thing nau. Did you think that you would escape?'' What could I have said to a guy that was clearly enjoying himsf at my expense?
''But you dont know me! why did you do it?''
''Look, no hard feelings okay? I just wanted to have fun. Sorry.'' Although he apologised, I knew he wasn't sorry. Not with the way his eyes twinkled and that cheshire grin that displayed a perfect dentition.

''My name is Obinna. What is your name?'' I took a deep breath and every indignation I felt towards him ease off as I exhaled.
'Lisa,'' I said simply, wondering what next he would ask.
''Una don seprate from the group abi?'' Paul said loudly, drawing attention to Obinna and I. Paul... I love my bestfriend to the moon and back but he could be annoying sometimes. Obinna just smiled and continued what he was saying about how the world like to tell people how they should live their lives. We were so absorbed with our talk that we forgot our friends and reached a dimension only we could relate.

 I liked Obinna. The way his lips curve in a permanent half-smile, the way his slender hands flew everywhere as if he was painting a picture of what he was saying on air. I liked the fact that he didnt try to flatter or impress me. I also liked the fact that he thought a lady should dream as high as any man. I liked him and it was as simple as that.

We exchanged numbers that evening and agreed to meet the next day at a fast food joint close to our school. That was the beginining of my short-lived friendship with Obinna. He was a final year student from the department of civil engineering but had finished his final papers some days before I did. He was fun to be with. He thought deeply about things but lived in a carefree manner.

It was all strange and new to me how someone had learnt to conform to the expectations of the world around me. He taught me how to discover who I truly was and how to be comfortable being myself. He taught me how to love me properly like I deserved and how to let go... to be free.

Time went by and my defence came. One month after my defence my parents began to call me, asking me to return home. I tried as much as I could forestall my return to the point of faking illness until my dad got fed up and ordered me home regardless. I called Obinna and told him that I wanted to see him in a private place and he gave me his address.

The next day, I knocked on his door and discovered to my convenience that he was alone. It was the first time I was visting him.

He offered me a bottle of malt. For a while, we carried on like we usually did, chatting and laughing but I was feigning the lightheartedness and he noticed.
''Lisa?''
''Yeah?'' I responded, looking at my hands I won't see his eyes.
''What is it?''
''Uhum... I uhum... I am leaving'' I replied.
''To where? Why?''
''Lagos. My parents...''
''Oh...'' that was not the reply I expected. I wanted him to sound cheated out an amazing friendship just like I felt.
''Yeah.''
''When will you leave?''
''Tomorrow''
''So soon?'' I nodded. I explained that I had been stalling for sometime and couldnt anymore. He did not argue with me.

 I have always felt uncomfortable saying goodbye so I didn't instead, what I said was, ''I have to go now.'' time had flown by while we chatted and I want to see Paul and the rest as well. He stood up to hug me. It wasn't like the one he had always given me. With arms around each other, I inhaled his scent, willing my mind to remember while I slowed my heart beat to match his. We hugged for a long time and I drew back. I just had to go. Obinna's eyes became darker than they usually were. Only God knows what emotions he was hiding behind them and for the first time since I had zobo splashed on my face, there was no smile on his face.

I turned to go.
''Lisa''
''Yes?'' I looked back.
''I was going to ask you Lisa. To ask you to be my girlfriend. I swear I was going to. You are the only girl I have ever felt this sure about.''
''Obinna...''
''Please Lisa, I love you.'' He said those words as if they were forcing themselves from his mouth. His voice was thick and intense.

''I have to go!'' I said as I turned and ran out of his room. It was either that or i lose the little control that held me together. What good was his love if we could not be together? Maybe we would meet sometime in the future or never. Maybe he would still love me or most probably, moved on and give what is left of his heart to someone else. Maybe... Just Maybe.

Ohabughiro Chinwendu(Wendy)

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The multiplier

One day, everyone will be a circular musician!

The spirit of multiplication? What meaning does it bring to your mind? Or how else can you explain people's view of the spirit of multiplication? What will the future of a multiplier be?

You still don't understand? I will clarify my point.

Using Nigerian musical stars Wizkid and Kizz Daniel as an example, Wizkid pulled out of "E.M.E" to start his own record label. In this course, he helped other upcoming artiste to reach their stars. This act is similar to Kizz Daniel who also pulled out of "G world entertainment" to start "Flyboy Inc."

The spirit of multiplication is what 'record label' is all about. Record labels are the companies that market recorded music and music videos. The act of recruiting and development of new artiste can be  referred to as the spirit of multiplication.
Most Nigerian musicians who indulge themselves in such act are doing great music.

 Only in Nigeria, can you count the number of good musicians we have? Don't you see that they are the greatest influence to the young ones?

What a spirit of multiplication!!!

Now, to the gospel musicians and other professions (and professionals) who aren't embracing this multiplication concept; can I ask why you aren't doing so? Is it not God's will that  we should multiply?

I even heard that some artist (artwork category) are very selfish. But why? How much influence are you having with your selfish greatness?

Will you rather embrace the spirit of multiplication?

#Omaa on the 🎤

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Grandparent Palaver

Will you like to be a grandparent?

What are your plans for a future where you will be retired to home alone?

If you aren't thinking of that already or you are saying 'I haven't even marry, you are asking about something that I must have been a grandparent. It's still far joorh ", listen to this my story.

I have had a couple of grandma that will beg me to come stay with them because they are lonely at home. For them, it's not the money or the house or food but just staying idle every time.

Though they know they are weak, but they have been a working person while they were younger and they can't just be idle now because of age.

So do you see why you need to think about this?
If you seek my advice on this subject matter, I will suggest two options:

1. Begin to utilize your talent. Try view in your mind those that bless us with the use of their talents (the likes of Bill Gate, Mandela, Enoch Adeboye, etc), they are having a beautiful old age.
Develop your talent if not for now, what about for your old age when you can no longer work for money.

2. Be a writer: like I always tell people that  'everyone should be a writer'. Probably not everyone but most likely everyone that is doing great in life. Why?
There are times you need to reach out your professionalism or advice to wider audience and writing is one of the best ways.

At old age while you are at home, it takes you just a book and a pen to start writing. Isn't this beautiful?

Let's stop having 'dependent grandparents' but let's start having 'contributing one'
Let's stop having 'lonely grandparents that even prefer to die' and let's start having 'grandparents that empower and enlight the young ones'.

Start developing a better old age from now or won't you?

#Omaa on the 🎤

If you don't know how to start using your potentials or you think you can't be a writer, Tumihub is here to help you discover it.

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