Episode 3: There is a positive learnings in the "bad"
"Everything works together for your good"
"People are doing their best with what they know"
"People do bad things with good intentions"
I greet you my dear for following this write up to this extent. Indeed it is a really getting deeper with many discoveries. I felt the impact myself.
There are times in ones life we faced a lot of things that seems bad. Truly those circumstances are painful so we begin to ask the 'why' questions.
Why did i even thought of going out?
Why am i born in this family?
Why is he my father?
Why did we meet?
Why? Why? Why? You keep on regretting that actions and blaming somebody or something whenever this event flashed to you. Infact some weep. Some distroy things. Your mood changes immediately. Most times you will run to something so that you can forget about it. Some run to smoking some run to bars to get high with alcohol while some people like me run to music. Many a time we try to avoid any thing that will remind us of it.
But that is not the best you can do to help the situation because one way or the other this is making you. It has constructed your character, beliefs, appearance, thinking. It has made you.
You find it difficult to love anyone again because someone you loved before left a big void in you.
You have labeled yourself a failure because you have failed a lot of times.
You concluded that you will not get married because your daddy bits your mummy every time.
You find it easy to get angry.
Many more of what you do now is caused by one event in the past that makeup your beliefs. You may be thinking that is you. That is the way you are. You even say it that "that is the kind of person i am."
No that's not you. You are born to love everybody just as you loved yourself. You are born to be happy. You are born to be curious. Yes! curious.
If you will see a child, he his always happy everytime. Play with other children no matter the difference. Fight, forgive and forget in few minutes.
That's what we are suppose to be. No wonder the bible said it that except you see yourself as a child you cannot enter the kingdom of God. I heard while in a progam one day that "the problem of this life is an adult and the solution is a child". Yes! That's true. A child forgive and forget easily, love everybody, always happy, look at things with a positive mind, nothing is impossible for him/her.
But all that happened to you changed you from your childish state to being who you are now and you are not conscious of that
There are a lot of things people do to you and it hurts you to your bone marrow. Truly these things are painful but these people are doing their best with what they know. "People do bad things with good intentions." But you see the negative side effect on yourself alone. If only you can begin to look at the positive effect. Manu have developed the habit to see a cup filled with water to half to be HALF EMPTY instead of HALF FILLED. They had turned negative which is giving a negative event.
Research has shown that 75% ill ones are emotionally imbalance which caused the illness. Not really the physically illness. Are you part of them?
I read a story sometimes ago about a man trying to save a cat from sinking in a river. The cat scratched his hand the first time, second time. So as wanted to strectch his hand to save the cat the third time, a man who saw what was happening told him to leave the cat since he was hurting him but he didn't. He saved the cat then turn to the man and he said it is natural for cats to scratch with his fingers and it is natural for him too to save. So he can't because of the nature of cat then bury his own nature to save. That's a great one. That's exactly what i wanted you to know.
I develop an habit that has really helped me. When people say something or do things that hurts me, i will say to myself "that's his point of view. That's his nature. Mike! don't let someone else nature overpower yours. Do you want to pay for something you don't want to buy?" After i say this several times, i will neutralize the effect on me and will move on fine with such person.
Sometimes you wish to stop doing something but you find yourself doing it again even after your new year revolution. You even swore you will never do something but you are beginning to do them. It is as a result of some things that has happened that has stored in your subconscious. So you do it unconsciously even when you try to be control it. It last for days then you go back into it.
It reminds me of a man. He is over thirty years of age now without a wife, a job. When you see him, you will think he is mad but he is not. He is just addicted to alcohol and cigarette. Before he can be free from taking alcohol, he has to chained for months so he can stop it. He will stop it for some while but as soon as he taste it again, he will go back to his old state. For him, he really don't like himself that way but he can't control it. Up till now, he is still like that. God help him.
It applies to most people. You really want to stop something but isn't leaving you. If you will just do this activities below so you can correct that stored event. Trust me it do really work. You can contact me for more info or read some books by Norman Vincent Peale. One of his book "the power of positive thinking" it is a wonderful book. I also recommend a trainig program called "NLP". Its really going to help.
Few process to neutralize the effect of a bad event on you:
1. Put down on a paper all those bad events you have encountered which do affect you. Also put down your bad characters. Arranged accordingly from the highest
affected to the least affected.
Take each of what you have written one by one according to their importance and follow the other process below
2. Trace the result of the event on your character and trace those bad characters of yours to the events that actually buildup the character or beliefs. For example trace why you said you will never loved an Igbo man to an event that caused that. Trace that anger of yours to an event that erupt it in you. This requires deep thinking in a silent place. If you really do want to help yourself, you need do it. It's going to work.
Look at how it started. Are you there? Play forward till the end. Trace it till now. Are you there?
3. Now go back to the event. Check throughout the event till now and see the posite learnings in it. Look at what have really learnt positively in it. Write at least six good learnings in it. Are you there? Think more.
4. Come back to now to see what you have gained that's in you now. Be it positive or negative. Write them down. Example: for me, the event made me to be outstanding in my family. It was like a generational curse that didn't affect me due to the event.
5. (Still in your imagination) see yourself rising above the event. Look down to see the event very tiny. Picture the sucess you are rising to in the next ten years as very high above that event.
6. Go back to the days before the event. Compare it to this present time so that you can see the accomplishment.
7. Lastly say this words and picture it's meaning in your mind.
"Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind"
"All things work together for my good says the Lord"
Can you feel the relief? God bless you. I recommend a book that will help you better if you can just meditate. The great book BIBLE is complete and perfect for you!
How to uninstall your bad habits application on your own system.
1. In a tabular form, put down those bah habits on one side according to their importance. Then on the other side, put down it's corresponding good habit to replace the bad one. Be sincere with those bad habits you have written. Are they the only one you possess? You can ask a trusted friend to help you out.
2. In your imagination, see the bad habit being exchanged with the good ones. Do that consistently for days.
3. Immediately after imagination, speak aloud that the good habit is replacing the bad ones. Example "peace of mind is replacing my worries". Always say it so it can stick to your subconscious.
4. Cultivate the new habit. Some times, the old might surface but you counter it with the new one and learn a lesson from it. According to research, it is said that after 21days, you will be used to the new habit unconsciously. It may be different in some cases.
5. Lastly, always do checkup on yourself every night you are about to sleep. Check the activites of the day to see hoe you respond to them. Correct those yoh need to correct immediately. You will see yourself improving.
NOTE: The only way to continue with the bad habit for a very long time is to sink back inti denial of why you are doing it in the first place.
Yours might be that you have done something that is really bad but you kept it to yourself. It is really heavy on you because it's a burden. Sometimes yoh want to disclose it to someone close to you but you are always afraid. But if you will see yourself now, you will see thaf it's really affecting you. Why not relieve yourself of this burden. Don't try to play safe because that is not really safe at all. If you can just pour it out to someone you trust and see how relieved you will be. I was onced in thag shoe. I couldn't tell anyone of it but one day while with my friend i remenbered it. I weeped so much. It was really very heavy on me but fortunately for me i poured it out to her after a lot of silence. Believe me that was the beginnig of a great life for me. Something i couldn't do before, i begin to do them so easily. That's how i was changed for better.
"It takes open mind to be emotionally free"
Replace that empty, or that overfilled mind with an open one. Open up to someone trustable, understandable, Lovable, honest. Be rest assured of the person before you open up. You must have atleast someone that possesses all of this if not look for one then you will see how free and relieved you will be.
There is really positive learnings in what has happened. For example, in our house, we didn't have a television set. The one we had several years ago didn't lasted for a month. I thought of it to be bad. Most times i wouldn't want my friends come visiting me at home. But now i realize it helped me a lot.
If you will just look into that bad event deeply, you will see the good learnings in it. All things truly work together for your good.
Back to the story!
All of that happened to Wande but that was the beginning of positive learnings for him. It was the beginnig of new life with great discovery of purpose. He thought for a while then he summon courage to pickup the IPhone. Lo and behold it was intact. No scratch. He smiled and was happy. He lyed on his flat bed and he started to thank God. Thereafter he begin to think. He looked deeply and rewind his life style. He started crying because all of the wasteful life he has lived. After a few minutes, he concluded in him that he is going to live a new life of purpose. He decided to sell his phone to get a better thing doing. He quckly rushed to his friend Ayomide to discuss all that has happened to him and his new decisions.
Up next in episode two is the title "Who am I?"
Thanks and God bless. See you soon.
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