Confused? Learn from my story.

Confused? Learn from my story.

I never thought I'd find myself at this point in my life. If i had known, i wouldn’t get involved in those plays when i was very young. The rough childhood life i lived in Ajegunle since i was ten has been  hunting me and is still hunting the 27year old me now. What i hated became my pleasure thereafter.

If only my parents didn’t get divorced; If only i stayed with either of them instead of my grandma, I wouldn’t have experienced continuous rape by my uncle who broke my hymen and wouldn’t stop inserting.

I couldn’t tell anyone at first; after all, my parents aren’t living with me. Besides, he threatened me and i stood firm on my ground until one day, i told my mum and she told my grandma but i got the shock my life while i was then accused.

 “Don’t mind her; she is the cause of it. She seduced him and lured him to it”

That was all my grandma could say. She made everything look like it was my entire fault. Now everyone in the house except my mum hates me and named me the bad girl of the family or should I say the black sheep?

 But how did my grandma know i was the cause? How can she accuse the innocent me? How on earth will she say a ten years old girl will know how to seduce a matured uncle? Am i sure she mothers my mum? Or is she trying to protect her son or the family? Why will she even do that at my own expense?

 Exactly the third time I got depressed in my life. Firstly my parent got divorced; secondly I got raped by my own blood and thirdly the blame is on me
 Just because my grandma is the one paying my school fees, feeding me and also clothing me? So my mum couldn't go against her and fight for me because of this?  My mum was silenced!

My uncle stopped touching me, but i couldn’t stop the urge. I tasted the sweet food at the wrong time. Maybe not sweet but i am used to eating it.

“Try it once
The only voice I am hearing..
No I can't
Just once and it’s over” Battling with this unknown demon but I never win
Boom!!!!
And then I tried it once. The struggle begins

 Every night was supposed to be for my uncle but since he wasn’t coming again, i couldn’t help but to wish for a man by my side. It was like punishment to me. Though i never liked it and God knows i tried to control it but i couldn’t.

I could have spoken out? I could have just told someone but then, the last time i did, i was blamed for it. What do i know this time response will be?

I am divided into two parts
A part that is free and the other addicted.
I enjoy being free
But the addicted part of me I cherish more..
My world crumbles when I am free and the crumbled me arranges immediately the other side of me is activated.
Is my addiction the real me or my freedom?
Ooh!!!
What's my addiction?
What's my freedom?
The awkward thing here is that my addiction is my freedom..
Confused!!!!

One day, a male friend of mine invited me to his house. Yes! He is my crush and he likes me too but we are friends here-at least for now. So I did not think twice before going to his place. After a short chat with him, I moved closer to him and gave him a kiss. We had sex and I just can't stop thinking about it. So I keep going back to him until I realised that I was 5 weeks pregnant

Now, the deed has been done! My name is Kumbi Fayemi and i am27 years old. I am not done with my story but i wish you'll not be like me. I wish you'll speak up early and go through the right people. See...

Just as being positively addicted requires a step by step process, so also is the negatively inclined addictions-You don't just become a marijuana addict at the break of the day, it must have started in a day and by consistence and persistence, it becomes an addiction you can't live without.

Whatever it is you are addicted to, it begins with a step.

Dear, don’t be like me, don’t destroy more of you. Leave the comfort of your addiction and seek help and i will suggest a group for you at the end of this piece.

So to continue my story...

I couldn't tell him because he is still in school. in fact he is in his first year in school. Who am i to tell again?

 My mum discovered and she took me to where I was going to terminate it because I am young and still in secondary school.

“I just can't stop thinking about sex. I don’t think I can live or stay a day without doing it” i always say.

 This mentality affected me and weakened my integrity. Before, i could feel remorse but now, it is now my comfort zone until it got me all manners of sexually transmitted disease after sleeping with my lecturers and anybody that crossed my way.

As i lay on this hospital bed, counting my days, my best wish now is that i get this across to people so that as many as possible can learn from it.


 Fighting this isn't easy..
It comes with a pain and scar..
The pain I feel
The scar unerased
Why do I have to play the victims role?
My Parent; My Uncle.
I have tried to heal these scars
I have tried to let memories go
I have tried to let my addiction go
But the more I try, the more the scars enlarge
If only I had never kept to myself
If only I shouted more for help after being rejected by my Grandma
If only I had chop off the demon.
Now I am here.
Here to fight without a weapon
But the only joy I have is
I won't die with this
I won't let it happen to an unknown person
Learn from my story
Learn to speak
Break the silence.....

If your integrity has been short-changed, if your addiction is now your integrity, please seek help.

Your purpose is more important than the pleasures; pleasure from negative addictions won’t get you to your purpose. So will you rather seek help now?

Join this group chat through the link below or chat this number and he will add you. Feel free to share with us and remain anonymous.

+234 902 205 6271

Thanks to Damilola, Gbenga and Taiwo for helping us with this.. Thanks guys